Above all, in our path and role in life, we must be truthful to God’s purpose, as well as to our own soul. Discerning and fulfilling our purpose is determined by the success or failure of inner struggle.
Since the creation, people have been in a constant psychological struggle between their inner good and evil, between their demons and their angels, and between doing right and wrong. Good and evil are present inside each person, and it’s up to each one to choose what to follow (Nadine Sadaka Boulos).
The Struggle
This “inner” moral evil, results from human incompleteness, original sin, “the fallen state of human nature” distancing ourselves from each other, God, and His intentions. They distract us from being truly whole, human.
Angels and men, as intelligent and free creatures, have to journey toward their ultimate destinies by their free choice and preferential love. They can therefore go astray. Indeed, they have sinned. Thus has moral evil, incommensurably more harmful than physical evil, entered the world (CCC 311).
Imperfections, “sin”, ingrained in our needs, desires, necessities, for survival – affects whatever is within reach and whatever our magnificent, unique imagination can conjure. Those who believe they are free, live an illusion.
Man, enticed by the Evil One, abused his freedom at the very beginning of history.” He succumbed to temptation and did what was evil. He still desires the good, but his nature bears the wound of original sin. He is now inclined to evil and subject to error: Man is divided in himself. As a result, the whole life of men, both individual and social, shows itself to be a struggle, and a dramatic one, between good and evil, between light and darkness (CCC 1707).
Searching, discovering our individual truth, purpose, responsibility is part of the human struggle. What stops us from performing, obtaining our goodness: desires, fears, anxieties, selfishness, doubt, ego, hard addictions, soft addictions. We must be aware, mindful, day to day, moment to moment, of the disturbances and commotions around us.
We, with mental health issues, are more fully aware of internal and external conflicts. We experience(d) these continuous battles of lies, voices, false images, darkness, failure, success, pain, and joy. Even with medication, support, therapy, one’s freedom, successes may not be long-lived. We sometimes find a deeper faith, letting go, letting God. We are not our illnesses. Your struggles are not your identity.
Our Weapons
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing (Abraham Lincoln).
Feeding the good, starving evil begins with recognition and acceptance. We can choose our skills(weapons). Some are difficult to employ, even distressing. The soul’s internal battle toward enlightenment is waged with faith, the mind, hope.
The more you fight the darkness, the more real it becomes to you, and the more you exhaust yourself. But when you turn on the light of awareness, it melts (Father Anthony DeMello).
Lessons Learned
I’ve learned several important lessons from the pain of this ongoing war:
- You are not alone. Talk.
- Grow into old hobbies, find someone.
- Distract from the pain, from music to friendships.
- Observe your world – see the beauty, walk, hike, window shop.
- Be aware of your state of mind, am I too logical, too emotional? How do I find balance?
- Feed the soul by serving those in greater need. There’s an immense pleasure, joy from “feeding the good” in others. Reaching outside the self brings us closer to the Center.
I grow, slowly, by helping others grow.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves (St. Paul).
Growth
I grow, slowly, taking small, difficult painful steps. Minor victories begin by the sounding of my alarm clock and placing both feet on the floor (even our dreams, we can be confronted). There’s a great joy of having survived another day and night. Today, there can be victory or fear.
- Focusing on the now, being in the moment, the task at hand. Focus on every chore, the mundane, the complex.
- Recognize the good surrounding you.
- Focus on those you’ll meet on this day’s journey.
- Focus on who, what is in front of you. Now. Not tomorrow’s bills.
- Notice, every moment can be a gift, even the birds of the air, unconcerned.
- Have gratitude for the simplest, clothes, shoes, the abundance of much, even clean safe water. Many do not have, never will.
What my vision cannot see, what the mind cannot absorb, is inadequate, narrow, restrained. Imagine the colors beyond our eye’s spectrum, only the angels can view. Imagine what surrounds us.
Relentlessly practice. These few words are just a prologue into lifestyles enhancing our existence. Focusing on God, on The good, on others’ goodness, on faith, its gifts, living in the Gospels, prevent evil’s dominance. Avoid self-pity, resentment, anger, regret over the life that could have been. Dwelling nourishes evil. I will not dwell on what I could have been without my illness. The present is too important for such.
And it is not necessary to have great things to do. I turn my little omelette in the pan for the love of God (Brother Lawrence).
We live in a culture of ego dominance. Success is ‘success’ of the self only. Some members of our mental health community are imperfect in man’s greatest gift, the efficacy of the mind. We know our faults.
The central inner conflict is one between the constructive forces of the real self and the obstructive forces of the pride system, between healthy growth and the drive to prove in actuality the perfection of the idealized self.” ― Karen Horney, Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization
We know man’s smallness in This universe. We know our uniqueness, we know we are loved by God, always. We see more clearly. It’s in of our humanity of faith, we succeed and achieve, one small step at a time, building healthier relationships with God, and others, creating anew.
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross).
Pray for the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, including, piety, charity, counsel, fear of the Lord. The Sacraments also strengthen us for the struggle.
The story of the two wolves illustrates how to win the battle between good and evil within us:
One evening an elderly Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.”
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.” (I’ll add on fear, insecurity, doubting, etc.)
And
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “which wolf wins?’
The old Cherokee simply replies, “The one you feed.”
This article first appeared on The Catholic Stand
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