Published in the Westchester Guardian, 2011
How many times have I missed the present because I was thinking about the future? How many times am I unaware of the world around me while trying to multitask? How many of us are too involved with thinking and doing instead of being? When eating, do I really enjoy the taste and flavors of a good meal or am I thinking about tomorrow? “To think, therefore I am” is a fallacy. “To be, to experience” is who we are – temporary physical, permanently, eternally spiritual. We can only truly be by experiencing the world around us.
Being in the moment, constantly focusing on the Now is something quite foreign to our cultural integration. This mindfulness is something we have never been taught but we have been taught to multitask – to think ahead, to do constantly, to think constantly. In the business world, if you are not thinking you are not working.
Mindfulness is what we pay attention to. Mindfulness is to be aware. Through practicing mindfulness, we learn to control where our attention goes. This applies to everyday moments and also when we are agitated, for here is where our attention fades and wanders towards unnerving regions. When our mind identifies and become agitated with these uncomfortable thoughts from the brain a lot of pain is created (for me, these might be the only thoughts I have), blocking out rational thinking. Mindfulness practice teaches us to focus on something other than our thoughts. Mindfulness moves our attention to the “awareness of being alive”. This shift in awareness can allow our emotions to calm down making us attentive to the present. Think of being absorbed into a great book or piece of music – there you are mindful of only the story or composition. Once you think about what you are doing you are no longer mindful. It’s this life experience that our culture omits, disregards and other cultures enhance.
When having a conversation, I wonder if others ‘see’ that my thoughts have been wandering. Can they notice any facial expressions on my part as this brain begins to drift into other numerous issues, having an internal conversation with itself? Does my body language hint that while we’re exchanging pleasantries my mind is reviewing the weekly Stop and Shop grocery trip, planning my schedule for work, etc? How many times I try to multitask with the phone in one hand and with the other tidying up. I am present but not really present. Is not it great that we cannot read each others thoughts!
Its not that their conversations and good-natured remarks are dull, it’s has nothing to do with whom I am talking to, just ask my wife, but it has everything to do with my paying attention, staying focused, observing the other person. And this “maintaining of focus” is not just limited to personal interactions but everyday activities and events. It is to be mindful of our small world and numerous interactions within it. It is to be aware. To participate by observing, to observe without judging; to enter into a new experience, smelling the roses before life passes us by. It is to achieve a state of mind that perfectly balances the reasonable and the emotional mind. It is to reframe our thought patterns to being in the now at that moment for nothing else exists at that moment.
There is also the aspect of mindfulness that again could be used when we face stressful and challenging situations that are routinely part of life. My mind seems to grab hold of painful thoughts, retaining, rehashing them constantly, trying to increase fear and anxiety. A part of mindfulness is to observe these thoughts and not react to them, letting them go as thousands of other thoughts and images do everyday. With an upcoming dental appointment, the brain manufactures “what if” thoughts that can handicap and hijack the mind. Remember the mind and brain are two different entities inside us all. My brain functions and mind both need to be retooled through a slow learning process. (By using therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, DBT).
As my hardwired mind tries to be aware of the brain’s thoughts and patterns, drifting off in various directions seeking agitation, I try to remember various tools learned and discussed in previous articles, such as calling a friend, doing a jigsaw puzzle, taking a slow mindful walk – something to help break the current pattern of dread. A healthy mind may be able to observe thoughts and not have heart rate and blood pressure increase. If only I could say, “here we go again; my brain is finding something else to worry about”.
#777
Glenn Slaby Blog