Published in the Westchester Guardian, December 2011
JUDGMENTAL ASSUMPTIONS AND HIDDEN PAIN?
RICHARD CORY
Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him;
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich-yes, richer than a king-
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
Edwin Arlington Robinson (1869-1935)
Disturbing. Upsetting. This poem shocks us with its abrupt, unpredictable ending. It defines what we do not know, what we incorrectly assume and judge in life. It touches on the human characteristics of the labeling of others based solely on image. It sublimely shows the inability of the suffering, being unable to express themselves and move beyond the pain, seek release and step outside class standing – and not trying to live up to a false adherence of culture. ‘Richard Cory’ shocks us with the truth of how much we do not know about the pain hidden deep inside our neighbors and how judgments and preconceptions can be totally misguided. Richard Cory disrupts our understanding of the values of wealth and happiness.
There are countless Richard Cory’s, with or without wealth, in our midst – most suffering alone. The holiday season amplifies the pain. Beautiful songs exasperate the loneliness. Commercial medium focuses on what we should have and probably do not need and cannot afford, monetarily, emotionally & spiritually (for over indulgences of the material slowly takes away little pieces of our souls). So much healing can begin with simple actions of kindness and grace. (Those who suffer do not have to go it alone. One can call 211, of course 911 in emergencies, and inquire about of the multiple and variable sources of aid. Many are out there waiting to serve. Call and have their numbers available. Help and a friend are never far away.)
Are we the ‘us’ in the poem, seeing and seeking only riches and status? Do we judge others too quickly? Do we evaluate their (in) abilities and (in) completeness, comparing them to preconceived standards? Do we concur our society’s position of image over substance? For who knows what lies deep in the hearth of another. We are a people that judge, (a human or cultural trait?), especially on superficial values, and outward appearances that so often give false signals of who we truly are – insecure adults, on a path towards a God whom we cannot see but refuse to explore deeply and continually return to the world of superficial pleasures that get us from one moment to the next.
Judging limits both the one who is being judged and those who judge. Judging restricts actions of assistance and inhibits the search for truthful answers. False judging is built upon images obtained from incorrect interpretations of what stands for ‘success’. Was Richard Cory’s image/status of wealth preventing others from truly ‘seeing’ the person behind the mask? Was the (inherited?) wealth of Richard Cory preventing him from seeing the spirituality of life, the meaning of work, sacrifice and struggle whose rewards should never be easily dismissed?
Some of us with mental illness are judge by outward appearances and manifestations (sometimes caused by medications) with the beauty of every individual hidden, giving rise to unsubstantiated labeling. For me, my rapidness of speech and outward nervousness is a sign of anxiety and not always part of my conscience thought patterns. Currently, I cannot stand outside the self, becoming an impartial spectator hoping to evaluate and correct the telltale actions. There is no ‘switch’ to turn off the tics (visible or invisible).
For those whose manifestations of chronic illness are not visible to the untrained, there is the problem of false identification. Unseen pain, suffering from a non-visible physical illness at certain points in time leads to misinterpreting ones juncture in life. As I walk through the hallways of the hospital, many fellow patients appear calm and self–assured while my brain and mind are fighting a battle to get me through the week, the day or even the next hour. Only through group therapy can I “see” the real, very deep pain and believe that I am not alone – there’s companionship with God and with others. Why do so many hide their pain? What is it about our human nature that prevents us from sharing and reaching out instead of living with overbearing pain?
Mental illness does not take away desire to serve, our acts of kindness, and our spirituality. It only enhances them. Our illnesses do not reflect our intelligence, our sense of caring, our creativity. Judging and assumptions only harms and isolates us. Gives limits where none may be applicable. It tells us, implies, who we are or should be. We are very slowly rising above the racial stereotyping; it is time to stop all stereotyping. Let the individual decide and explore their limits.
#875
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