Published in the Westchester Guardian, August 2014
Some words are worth repeating:
RICHARD CORY
Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him;
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich-yes, richer than a king-
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
Edwin Arlington Robinson (1869-1935)
How can a survivor point into words the anguish of this depth of despair?
Can those who don’t suffer from any of the diseases that come under the tag of mental illness and other chronic physical illnesses understand, comprehend the idea of suicide?
How do you describe the continuous mental pain being worse than physical pain? How can you illustrate mental pain exceeding beyond what most can fathom to such an extent that even cutting may not suffice? The distress, agony varies for as many reasons as there are individuals who attempt.
Self-harm seems extremely alien and abstract but not to the sufferer, for there is a point in which your brain cannot focus on anything else, cannot see beyond the continuous pounding and beyond the self. Every individual has their limit. Only so much can be absorbed, be it fear, chronic physical pain, loss, loneliness, etc. And no one is exempt. For me the right questions were not being asked. I was overwhelmed. I was sliding downward and certain aspects of my life were not brought up in therapy. I did not see this until much later. I could not see the signs.
This desire is not and never should be considered a moral failing but a biological and chemical failure occurring somewhere in the brain, anyone’s brain, everyone’s brain. Understand that the brain is the most powerful of man’s instruments whose inner workings are far beyond today’s capacity of understanding. Knowing it is such a terrible act, how does the mind block out all the hurt that will be caused by such a deed and perform the act?
The sufferer may not announce their intention. I did not show any outward signs. Spontaneous or preplanned, the mind may have already isolated itself from the outside world and their closest companions. Once the though is accepted, calmly faced, the act prevails unless prevented by luck of circumstances, a miracle or somehow God’s will. Then occurs rehabilitation, therapy, etc. And always the thought that suicide is always an available option when things get to difficult, for prior attempts increase the risk for future attempts.
We’ve been inundated with statistics since Robin Williams’ death and they are not encouraging. They are everywhere. That does not help the issue unless we keep asking the right questions, repeatedly.
- What are the national, international, racial, social and economic data and components and correlations occurring with one million annual deaths worldwide?
- Why are there 4 male suicides to every female, but three times as many females attempt versus males?
- Why are people with a family history of suicide at an increased risk? No gene has been detected, yet.
- Trauma at any age are at increases the risk of suicide. Why does it take so long to retrain the brain?
- Is it purely a human act?
Over 90 percent of people who die by suicide have been diagnosed with mental illness. At the time of the act it’s probably 100%. We with mental illness are tired being treated as less than human. What if 90 percent of the people whom attempted suicide had, God forbid, cancer, will there be a greater outrage?
As with any other medical illness, a thorough evaluation is needed. Your primary doctor may be very good, but would you see him or her if you needed treatment for cancer or would you seek a specialist. A psychiatrist knows the best drug combinations and which work best with psychotherapy. Fight the stigma! Seek the specialist! Ongoing psychiatric treatment is helpful for most people with suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Some forms of psychotherapy—including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) work well.
U.S. national suicide deaths rose slightly for the fifth year in a row to 12.3 per 100,000 in 2011 (the last year of released data). “This report from the CDC reflects a reality that we know too well: suicide continues to be a national health issue,” said Christine Moutier, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP).
If someone’s behavior has changed, if they seem depressed or upset, talk to them, a phone can change a life, can save a life. Organizations such as the AFSP will help you and help others, especially if you don’t know what to say. If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone has expressed such thoughts, contact organizations such as the Westchester Chapter of @ (914)610-9156 or www.afsp.org. National: 1-(888)333-AFSP (2377). These are not crisis lines. September is Suicide Prevention Month. Join AFSP’s, Walk to Prevent Suicide, Sunday, October 5th.
National crisis hot line: 1-800-273-talk (8255).
Other sources:
- American Association of Suicidology (suicidology.org).
- Treatment of Children with Mental Illness. A booklet from Publications.USA.gov (Publication # 719). Answers to frequently asked questions about the treatment of mental disorders in children. Online PDF available.5 pgs. Released in 2009.
- Center for Disease Control and Prevention (www.cdc.gov)
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (www.nami.org).
Our Culture does not help. Example, the theme song from M.A.S.H. Director Robert Altman had two stipulations about the song for the movie. First, it had to be called “Suicide Is Painless”; second, it had to be the “stupidest song ever written”. Altman tried to write the lyrics himself, but found that it was too difficult for his 45-year-old brain to write “stupid enough”. Instead he gave the task to his 14-year-old-son, Michael, who apparently wrote the lyrics in five minutes. It’s scary, for some may believe. Wish they would have replaced the melody for the television series.
Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see
(Refrain)
that suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it’s too late, and…
The song carries the same defeatist, dangerous, atheistic thought pattern, continuing for four more versus.
A minor song written by Paul Simon entitled “Richard Cory” suggest suicide is favorable over poverty of life. Not one of their hits. Fortunately. For humans, the goal seemingly is the creation, maintaining and stockpiling of wealth, nothing about what the beauty that life and faith can offer.
You can never do too much to help. Involvement in community or religious organizations may decrease the risk of suicide. Stay involved, communicate, and don’t shut yourself in your own private terror. Suicide can be prevented by love displayed. Clergy, religious leaders are also there for us; professional medical help is just a call away. Please see my prior article on suicide – June 9, 2011.
As you read this, remember one does not have to be alone in their pain. Please seek companionship for though we all are traveling on this journey as individuals, there are those who devote their lives to us who suffer from mental illness. Clergy, religious leaders are there for us; professional medical help is just a call away. If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone has expressed such thoughts, contact the Westchester Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention @ (914) 487-2460 or go to www.afsp.org/westchester. If someone’s behavior has changed, if they seem depressed or upset, talk to them, a phone can change a life, can save a life. If you don’t what to say to someone at the AFSP can help.
Glenn Slaby Blog