Published in the Westchester Guardian, April 2011
As the grogginess of a not always peaceful sleep begins to wear off, thoughts, as usual, begin their intrusive assault. These thoughts begin by attacking my insecurities and fears along with fortunately, almost simultaneous thoughts to either placate the fears or ignore them and keep on moving. Sometimes, next to my nightstand, I notice a visual reminder of what must be done. There, on an over-photocopied piece of paper lies the anonymous Cherokee tale of The Two Wolves.
I have no idea where or how this little tale came about having never seen it in any book. Recently, a variation of the story was on a mental health website, but it has been around for years and I have distributed it when ever possible. As a mental health tool for anyone, the advice and common sense offered takes time, practice and patience.
It goes like this:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.”
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.” (I’ll add on fear, insecurity, doubting ,etc. )
And
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “which wolf wins?’
The old Cherokee simply replies, “The one you feed.”
I will like to add the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit which includes the above with piety, charity, counsel, fear of the Lord, and the Sacraments of my Catholic Faith.
Simple goals can be deceiving. They take awareness, practice and patience; effort must be applied, continuously. For the longest time now, I have been trying to learn and apply the first part – recognizing the thoughts as uncomfortable, emotionally stressful, tiring and domineering, – evil in the sense that no good can come from them.
The first part helps to reduce the fear by reminding me that the object of the discomfort will not, cannot be solved by my rehashing, regurgitating it in my mind over and over. By doing so only increases the anxiety, beginning in the morning and flowing through other parts of the day. Progress has been made on most mornings as the thought patterns begin their attack. My mind now recalls the above tale when a particular ‘small’ fear arrives and the uselessness in fighting these challenging and conflicting thoughts. A slight, positive change has occurred in the pathways (neurons) of this hyper brain of mine.
There are many other morning issues that have yet to be challenged and right now, the first thought usually hitting me is the next dental appointment which hasn’t even been scheduled yet. The more I dwell, the greater the pain. Also, each fear must be faced one at a time and cannot be lumped together. So when doing my simple physical exercises, I try to tell myself nothing positive will come out of fearful thoughts and images. Time is short, life has plenty of distractions – many can be positive.
What seems sensible, practical and easy to apply is the second part, but the application of this positive reinforcement does not overtly occur and here too I must remind myself. It is not that I am unappreciated or ungrateful of my blessings and gifts that could be offered to others; it is that the negatives have and had such a powerful hold – the Good must be fed by reinforcement and practiced daily.
Besides my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) based thoughts which seem to carry more weight then I am aware of and like to admit, I must remind myself of the other components of evil and the other aspects of how the mind functions amidst certain aspects of our dysfunctional culture. There is self-pity, resentment, anger and regret over the life that could have been. The present now is not a place for these negatives of life. They may exist but some of us can overcome them. What ‘mysterious’ path life would have taken can only be guessed, but I cannot thread here. This only becomes more fodder for the beckoning evil.
Next article: trying to focus on the positive, the good to comer of life.
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Glenn Slaby Blog